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[Discussion] How do you stop. This game is very addictive

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#1
Publié à 2019-09-03 02:43:24 | Montrer uniquement l'auteur de la publication

I do not know where to begin. In 2012 i lived in Western Australia. I was selling drugs small-time out of a house with some friends to feed our clothes. Every day for 2 years it was high, play games. 16 hour days playing when i was not roster'd to work, 10-12 when i was not. The cycle continues almost unchanged until 2014 when i met an amazing girl, a former partner of my housemate at the time. She saw something in me that she did not, and within 4 weeks of meeting, had invited me to move across the country to be with her. I would like to leave my addictions behind. I spent 2 years in my life doing something else. CS, League or WoW. She would have made a great wife, and was an amazing partner. It is now 2019. After destroying my last relationship with this addiction in the middle of doing it again, in the same way, with a girl that is driving the strength behind all of my motivation and life-achievements. She has tirelessly sacrificed to help me, putting herself in a great position. Instead i stayed home and gamed all day and told her i was too depressed to find work. I have only been in the last 3-4 months (some years and a half + later) come into full-time employment, and am doing exceptionally well. I can finally hold my own ground financially in our relationship, but it has only served to highlight that my computer gaming is more than a serious problem. I would have the absolute minimum of me when it comes to cleaning, cooking or any other household chore. Almost always doing the job half-assed and making the house tidy so i could spend more time playing. I neglect her emotionally and sexually because my gaming takes all of my mind, my energy and my attention. It eats at my ambition and my potential, and most days i'm so engrossed in it that i can not see my addiction for what it is. My day is currently working at 7am, working until 3pm. Come home. Doing a small cover-up (tidy) of the house to make it look like i cleaned up, play until 7-8pm, spend an hour or two with her then sleep ready for work. I can spend 1 hour, sometimes doing anything productive. It usually takes a catalyst like a big fight or my partner. I have been making the same songs since the release of Everquest. I have always come back to my life with my life, and I love it. I feel like i care, in my heart i care. In my heart i want to change, but my actions never change. My life stays the same. I want to know how to take my passion and motivation for gaming, the countless you-tube videos looking at the best meta builds, the intricacies of rotations, stutter stepping, should peaks, b-hopping, fast expanding ..... to take it and mold it into a weapon that i can use to find fulfillment in life meaningfully. I am 27, and i worry that i will have to leave the girl i want to have children, and that my life will be repeating this cycle until i decide that i can not do it anymore. I'm sorry if it's a tough read, it's not really well-strung together and my thoughts are all over the place. How do i change guys? How do i stop being me?https://solitaire.onl/ 9apps.ooo/ https://bluestacks.vip

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#2
Publié à 2019-09-03 06:58:45 | Montrer uniquement l'auteur de la publication

Search for counseling. Nobody could fight an addiction alone. Trust me. Ask your GP To advice you someone. And then be brave and call for first appointment and prépare to be brave for months. Will and tenacitybare the key.
As for tidy cleaning... less awfully Boeing when you do it together ;-)

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Gingerness
#3
Publié à 2019-09-07 07:49:49 | Montrer uniquement l'auteur de la publication

I believe video games are actually a force for good in the world. Addiction, not so much.

When I sold my PS3 to focus on other things, I eventually bought a PS4. That didn’t work.

I moved from New Jersey to New York, started a whole new life. Games became apart of that. Moving away didn’t work.

I tried a 90-day detox. On day 4 or something I picked the controller back up and played even more than I did before. That didn’t work.

I joined a community of well-to-do people and it was awesome while it lasted. I had a falling out with the “leader” of that community and decided I couldn’t be apart of the group anymore, for my own integrity’s sake. Back to video games. That didn’t work. Not for good anyway.

The only thing that worked for me was facing it head on. I stopped judging myself. I ignored the shame. I ignored the people’s voices in my head that told me ignorant things like “video game addiction isn’t a real addiction” and “get a plan and do something with your life” and similar things.

I studied addiction like a college major. Eventually, after learning so much about what was going on inside myself, I hit a tipping point. Overcoming video game addiction was an educated decision. It was conviction, and for the first time I felt like I was facing it from a position of power. Knowledge really is power.

I learned that one aspect of addiction is that it’s a coping mechanism, in every case, whatever the addiction is to. It’s always a coping mechanism, meaning I had to face whatever I was using games to cope with. For me, it was a cocktail of things that I really can’t get into right now, but I had to work through feelings of frustration and regret. It all revolved around my upbringing - church and school and then just feeling like I was lied to. “Shit didn’t turn out the way they said” kind of thing.

Another important thing to note is the role dopamine plays in addiction. Most people know that dopamine is responsible for that feeling of reward and achievement. I forget who coined the term, but you can refer to it as “the pleasure of the feast.” However, dopamine is also responsible for your level of drive - it’s that feeling of desire, longing for something. This is “the pleasure of the hunt.” Simply put, addiction creates an imbalance here. It’s why you’re asking this question, it’s why you want to stop but you can’t.

Drive is a chemical reaction. An external stimulus can fix this, a sacrifice or setting very high stakes. My marriage was at stake because of my addiction to video games; this didn’t fix my addiction necessarily, but it gave me perspective. Also, after studying addiction, I realized a bunch of other things at stake as well - most notably, TIME. What’s at stake for you? Or what can you give up that will hurt so much that your drive will reset and redirect itself?

Edit: Sometimes the thing at stake isn’t anything tangible. I know of a woman who was addicted to both cocaine and heroin. She lost her opportunity for college education. She lost the love of her life. She lost her family. 9apps.ind.in/ She lost her home. She lost almost everything. She was still an addict. Then, one time there was a drug-bust in her neighborhood and her supplier ended up in prison. To get drugs, she contemplated sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend, who happened to be a dealer in another neighborhood. The fact that she seriously considered this was enough to make her realize she had a problem and she became serious about overcoming her addiction; she began to seek help. Dignity was at stake.

Here’s my point: you’re on the right track by asking this question. The faster and more voraciously you learn about what you’re going through right now, the faster you’ll grow out of this.

BTW, I still play video games.

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Rohan
#4
Publié à 2019-12-04 06:23:36 | Montrer uniquement l'auteur de la publication

I assume it was through scrapiness and hard work, not simply because of your college major.

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